Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Wannabeebles

I am a Beatle-fanatic. Though I was a mere babe when they broke up, their music was a backdrop for my childhood and my musician Daddy turned me on to them. When John Lennon died in 1980 I became obsessed with their music.

Our family friend and fellow Beatle-maniac, Sharon Cobb, told us about a Nashville Beatle band called the Wannabeatles. They played in our local park and we took little man. He hears the Beatles at home all of the time and said "They don't look like the Beebles!" But as soon as he heard them play he rushed the stage. Hmm, wonder where in the world he could have gotten that kind of behavior from?! And the beat goes on . . .

The day she lobster credibility

Sometimes ya just feel like a big fat hypocrite. As a "mud mama" I am a semi-vegetarian. Have been since I was 12. At 23, living in LA and receiving PETA (People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals) literature, I had a dream that I was eating what I thought was chicken and it was roast cat. At that point I worked my way down the food chain to fish and dairy and have been stuck there ever since. A "beady eyed" vegetarian (who only eat things with beady eyes, as opposed to doe-eyed bovines).

Sweet Pea, who doesn't miss much, caught wind that mommy doesn't eat animals. I don't think I ever actually said this to him, but he knows I don't eat chicken, etc. One night, Jim and I decided to go to Red Lobster, and being there, yes, I got ... lobster. He looked at my plate, pointed to the creature and it's beady eyes and said, "That an animal, mommy?" Or, as my friend Don remarked, in essence he was saying "You full of crap, mommy?" Sigh!

(PS) I think I mentioned that I come by punning naturally. For this title I am borrowing my dad and former step-moms pun from the 1980's released Pinkard and Bowden song, I Lobster And Never Flounder. If you are hungry for more fish puns, visit hereYouTube - Pinkard & Bowden - I Lobster And Never Flounder or here The Fish Song

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Prince and The New Revolution (or, Standing Up For Potty Power)

A gentle warning: I am rating this post PG13. My Nana, God bless her, would not have liked it at all, for it's lack of ladylikeness. But, alas, I feel compelled to share my new discovery.

The other night I had a much needed mommy's night out. I went and danced my heart out to a Nashville band of awesome musician friends, the Long Players, who do kickin' versions of classic albums front-to-back. The album on deck was Prince's "Purple Rain," whisking me and my girlfriends back to our high school glory days in the 80's. This was the album that prompted Tipper Gore to start The Parents Music Resource Center, or PMRC, a committee that sought to have ratings put on recorded music. But, the more risque the lyrics, the more we teen girls loved the songs. Surprisingly, me posting the words to "Darling Nikki" is not the reason for the self-imposed rating.

The reason for the rating is this. The club was packed. As I stood in line for the bathroom with a bunch of women who all really needed to go, an interesting subject came up. A new invention called the "shenis". Yup, rhymes with the clinical name for the male anatomy. The idea is to use this funnel type device to enable a woman to stand up and go to the bathroom almost anywhere, just like a man. Everyone was laughing about it. The idea is intriguing and of course, I had to go look up the website. It turns out that it is an obscene looking 12 inch gold number, and there is video of women actually using it to pee off of boats, etc., just like one of the guys. I apologize to anyone who may be mortified. However, the ridiculousness of this concept appeals to the adolecent side to my sense of humor and I just had to share. I don't plan to actually use one, but I do think it is a real pisser!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

People Are Crazy

Happy to report that my dad is having his lucky 13th #1 song of his songwriting career. His song, People Are Crazy by Billy Currington, co-written with Troy Jones, goes to #1 next week!

Little man, knowing that Grandbobby writes COUNTRY music, asked me today if Grandbobby was a farmer. Good one!

Go, Daddy!
YouTube - people are crazy - billy currington

Monday, July 13, 2009

No spank you (and I'm not choking!)

In the Mud Mama chapter of my forthcoming parenting memoir, A Journey to The Son, I discuss how Jim and I have made the decision not to spank. We desire to use more of a "positive parenting" approach and for 4 1/2 years that has worked.

Last night we were out to dinner with Grandbobby. Sweet Pea decides it is funny to start sticking various items in his mouth to try to choke himself. When I repeatedly warned him and took every potentially deadly item out of his reach, he put his mouth down on the table (bobbing for apples style) and ripped off a big hunk of the paper table cloth with his mouth which he proceeded to try to gag on, laughing his butt off the whole time while I try to remove the potential obstruction from his orifice. (I give him high marks for creativity and determination, but low marks on listening and safety!) At that point I took him to the bathroom for a cooling off period, where I discussed the danger of what he was doing. He started his whole "I die?" routine with a big smile on his face. Unbelievable.

A friend, who is a non-spanker, said they thought that a spanking would be a better option than him choking himself. Another friend suggested that he may just be wanting to get the rise out of me--a little sensory stimulation of mom freaking out. Next time, she suggested, very calmly take the offending item away. If he attempts it again, just say "I see we have to leave" and go sit in the car while everyone else finishes dinner and go just sit and let him be bored. I think that just might get him.

I will try the no attention reaction next time. And that is NO choke!

(By the way, I am always open to an exchange of ideas, if anyone has any thoughts they would like to share.
Synchronistically, I saw this post after I drafted mine, it is by Rita Brhel, editor of The Attached Family. Good to know I am not alone! Striving Toward Controlled Chaos Attachment Parenting International Blog).

Thursday, July 9, 2009

A Rockin' Pajama

Ok, so I guess my kid isn't the only one who says cute things! Imagine that ;) I am taking this straight off of a Facebook entry of my friend Dona who told this story about our mutual friend's four year old that is too cute to pass up.

The little boy said to his mother, "I don't want to be a dentist anymore"

"Well, you can be anything you want to be."

"I want to be a rockin' pajama"

"I don't know what a rockin' pajama is, honey."

"Yes, you do, Mommy. The president!"

moms the word

Good news for those interested in going back to school . . .

Government Programs Put College Degrees in Reach for Moms - WalletPop

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

moonwalking the line

With the King of Pop's passing, my little guy has gotten a quick education in all things MJ and seems a bit fascinated.

"He a man or a lady?"

"He black or white?" (Despite our colorblindness at home, he has developed a recent interest in differences in skin color, asking a caucasian woman with her Ethiopian adopted daughter friend of his "why you no match"?)

"Are there three Michael Jackson's?" (kinda)

"Why he die?" ("Too much medicine")

A couple of days ago, I was inevitably at the computer, doing some last minute things for my book release, while he was playing nearby. As it got too quiet for a second I went to check on him to find him trying to climb into the clothes dryer.

"Don't ever do that!"

"I hide and surprise everybody!"

"That is very dangerous"

"I die?"

"If someone got stuck in there, they wouldn't be able to breathe and you need air to live"

"I die and go up, and up, and up and see Poppie and (Cousin) Gracie's Daddy and Michael Jackson? Bye Mommy!"

Ok, this is kind of horrifying to me. Of course I'd like for him (and me) to believe that we could see loved ones and music icons in the hereafter, but not enough to want to make premature visits! I suppose it is hard for young kids to realize that you cannot just moonwalk from one realm to the other and understand the finality of it. How do you walk the line between protecting your child from harsh realities and giving them enough of a dose of it to keep them safe? I hope to have the grace to know how to balance that.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

R-E-S-P-E-C-T for happy accidents

Sometimes, as cliche as it sounds, we really do just have to go with the flow. The disappointing moment of a storm moving in right as it is time to go do our obligitory 4th of July activity of watching local fireworks turned into impromtu dancing around the living room to Aretha Franklin (need I write her last name?) singing RESPECT on NPT's A Capitol Fourth. My little man, who, sadly, is just seeing Aretha for the first time said "Mommy, she sings like Elvis!" The boy knows who has soul and this little good-for-my-soul moment would never have happened if things had gone according to my plans! Got to remember to live in the moment and be open to "happy accidents"!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Who's your Daddy?

We just spent an action packed few days at the in-laws stomping grounds on the Jersey shore. The week included two trips to the boardwalk, eating greasy delicious authentic pizza and soft serve ice cream, riding roller coasters, running at Nannie's farm with the new doodle-dogs . . . I think my little boy had fun too. ;)

His Grandee had a lovely commitment ceremony and he helped his bigger cousins take up the rings and when asked to say something for them shouted his rehearsed line of "All you need is love" adding "I love you, bye bye!"

Then there was one moment back at Grandee's house that was ironic. He started thinking about his cousin's family relationships.

"Michael and Isabel have two daddies?"

"Yes, honey- they are half-brother and sister"

"Dylan and Gracie have two daddies, too?" When I confirmed that was also the case he feigned a dramatic cry, wailing "I don't have two daddies!" then headed for the front door, he was on his way to find another daddy! Who'da'thunk your parents still being together would be a source of distress!

Grandee's partner, "Pepe" Bob, said to me, "you know what you've got to do, Lauren" . . .

Sorry, Dear!