No spank you (and I'm not choking!)

In the Mud Mama chapter of my forthcoming parenting memoir, A Journey to The Son, I discuss how Jim and I have made the decision not to spank. We desire to use more of a "positive parenting" approach and for 4 1/2 years that has worked.

Last night we were out to dinner with Grandbobby. Sweet Pea decides it is funny to start sticking various items in his mouth to try to choke himself. When I repeatedly warned him and took every potentially deadly item out of his reach, he put his mouth down on the table (bobbing for apples style) and ripped off a big hunk of the paper table cloth with his mouth which he proceeded to try to gag on, laughing his butt off the whole time while I try to remove the potential obstruction from his orifice. (I give him high marks for creativity and determination, but low marks on listening and safety!) At that point I took him to the bathroom for a cooling off period, where I discussed the danger of what he was doing. He started his whole "I die?" routine with a big smile on his face. Unbelievable.

A friend, who is a non-spanker, said they thought that a spanking would be a better option than him choking himself. Another friend suggested that he may just be wanting to get the rise out of me--a little sensory stimulation of mom freaking out. Next time, she suggested, very calmly take the offending item away. If he attempts it again, just say "I see we have to leave" and go sit in the car while everyone else finishes dinner and go just sit and let him be bored. I think that just might get him.

I will try the no attention reaction next time. And that is NO choke!

(By the way, I am always open to an exchange of ideas, if anyone has any thoughts they would like to share.
Synchronistically, I saw this post after I drafted mine, it is by Rita Brhel, editor of The Attached Family. Good to know I am not alone! Striving Toward Controlled Chaos Attachment Parenting International Blog).